There's a doctor livin' in your town
There's a lawyer and an Indian, too
And neither doctor, lawyer nor Injun chief
Could love you any more than I do

There's a barrel of fish in the ocean
There's a lot of little birds in the blue
And 'Neither fish nor fowl" says the wise old owl
Could love you any more than I do

No! No! No! it couldn't be true
That anyone else could love you like I do
I'm gonna warn all the *dead-eyed dicks*
That you're the chick with the slickest tricks
And every tick of my ticker ticks for you, follow through

Tell the doc to stick to his practice
Tell the lawyer to settle his case
Send the Injun chief and his tommy-hawk
Back to little Rain-In-the-Face

'cause you
Know! Know! Know! it couldn't be true
That anyone else could love you like I do
(No! No! No! it couldn't be true)
(That anyone else could love you like I do)
And, confidentially, I confess
I sent a note to the local press
That I'll be changin' my home address for you, follow through

Tell the doc to stick to his practice
Tell the lawyer to settle his case
Send the Injun chief and his tommy-hawk
Back to little Rain-In-the-Face

'cause you
Know! Know! Know! it couldn't be true
That anyone else could love you like I do

No! No! No! it couldn't be true
That anyone else could love you like I do
I'm gonna send a hot *communeek*
To warn the boys down at Cripple Creek
That every dimple on your dimpled cheek is mine, so to speak

Tell the (doc!) to stick to his practice
Tell the (lawyer!) to settle his case
Send the (Injun chief!) and his tommy-hawk
Back to little Rain-In-the-Face (woo-woo-woo, woo-woo-woo)

'cause you
Know! Know! Know! it couldn't be true
That anyone else could love you like I do
(Like I do)
(Like I do)

(Like I do)

LIKE I DO!!!

TRANSCRIBER'S NOTES *communeek* is an intentional mispronunciation of the word "communique". Also,
a "dick" was slang for a detective or private eye. Per the dictionary, "dead-eye" means an
expert marksman. A dead-eyed dick (or possibly "dead-eye dick") in the context of the song
refers to someone "aiming at" or "with his sights on" someone...but like the doctor, lawyer, etc.,
Betty
says that they can all just go peddle their papers elsewhere