As I did walk by hampstead fair
I came upon mother goose
So I turned her loose
She was screaming
And a foreign student said to me
Was it really true there are
Elephants and lions too in piccadily circus?

Walked down by the bathing pond
To try and catch some Sun
Saw at least a hundred schoolgirlssobbing
Into handkerchiefs as one
I don't believe they know I was a schoolboy

And a bearded lady said to me
If you start your raving, and your misbehaving
You'll be sorry
Then the chicken-fancier came to play
With his long red beard and his sister's weird
She drives a lorry

Laughed down by the putting green
I popped 'em in their holes
Four and twenty labourers were labouring
Digging up their gold
I don't believe they know I was long john silver

Saw Johnny scarecrow make his rounds
In his jet-black 'mac, which he won't give back
Stole it from a snowman