He had what you might call a trivial occupation
He cleaned the platforms of the local railway station
With no romance in his life, sometimes he wished he had a wife
He read the matrimonial advertising pages
The cries for help from different people, different ages
But they had nothing to say, at least not until the day
When something special he read, this is what it said

If you dream of the girl for you
Then call us and get two for the price of one
We're the answer if you feel blue
So call us and get two for the price of one

If you dream of the girl for you (if you are dreaming of someone that could be right for you)
Then call us and get two for the price of one (why don't you call us, and you'll get two for the price of one)
We're the answer if you feel blue (we may be the answers to your problem, a chance with the two)
So call us and get two for the price of one (why don't call us, and you'll get two)

He called the number and a voice said: "alice whiting"
The voice was husky and it sounded quite exciting
He was amazed at his luck, the purest streak of gold he'd struck
He said: I read your ad, it sounded rather thrilling
I think a meeting could be mutually fulfilling
Why don't we meet for a chat, the three of us in my flat?
I can't forget what I read, this is what it said

If you dream of the girl for you
Then call us and get two for the price of one
We're the answer if you feel blue
So call us and get two for the price of one

If you dream of the girl for you (if you are dreaming of someone that could be right for you)
Then call us and get two for the price of one (why don't you call us, and you'll get two for the price of one)
We're the answer if you feel blue (we may be the answers to your problem, a chance with the two)
So call us and get two for the price of one (why don't call us, and you'll get two)

She said: I'm sure we must be perfect for each other
And if you doubt it, you'll be certain when you meet my mother