Banned from the bar and barred from the club
Then clubbed by the cops for copping some drugs
Then drug down the street by his self-abuse
A candy-man hanging from a self-tied noose
-Ance in public with panties and bra, he's
Not like the Beaver of Harriet and Ozzys
He's the bastard son of the Colonel Kurtz
Lucille Ball-buster, crystal m-Ethel Mertz

I wasn't born this way, I was raised
Not by wolves but by Jews I was guilted and hazed
A middle class clown waging lower class war
A Beverly hillbilly peeled off the floor

The erratic irreverent reverend that wreaks
Havoc and wreckage whenever he speaks
I'm not the first, I'm your last second shot
A film about grave robbing without a plot

Throwing a party? I'll darby crash it
My Captain Sensibilities tells me to smash it up
I am the shit smeared in your pillowcase
I'm not the texting, I'm the upper case

Ranting and cursing, he sings in the third person and then
I'll catch myself and start singing about me again

Because of your harelip I shaved your mustache
Your Donner party has just been darby crashed
I'm anti-Christ, the unoriginal sin
The ten months of relevant Johnny Rotten

I am the victim in victimless crimes
Painting the town red between the lines
Losing is delightful when you always win
That's why I push my chips GG Allin