R: I have heard among this clan
You are called the forgotten man
J: Is that what they're saying?
Well did you evah!
What a swell party this is
R: And have you heard the story of a boy, a girl,
Unrequited love?
J: Sounds like your soap opera
R: I may cry
J: Tune in tomorrow
What a swell party this is

J: What frails
What frocks
R: What broads
J: What pearls
What rocks
R: They're bootiful
J: I've never seen such gaiety
R: Neither have I
J: It's all just too, too risqué really

R: This French champagne
J: Domestic
R + J: So good for the brain
R: That's what I was gonna say
J: You know you're a brilliant fellow?
R: Why thank you
J: Pick it up, Jack
Oh please don't eat the glass, my friend

Have you heard about dear Blanche?
Got run down by an avalanche
R: No!
J: Oh, don't worry, she's a game girl you know
Got up and finished 4th
R: The kid's got guts
J: Havin' a nice time?
Grab a line

R: Have you heard that Mimsy Star
J: Oh, what now?
R: She got pinched in the ass to bar
J: Slushed again, ey?
R: She was stoned
J: Well did you evah
R: Nevah
R + J: What a swell party this is

J: Hey check out that ass!
R: Aah, that's a lovely dress,
Do you think I could talk her out of it?

It's great
J: Ah, it's great
R: So grand
J: So grand
R + J: This wo-…-nderland
R: La la……
J: Ladada…
We sing
R: Oh we sing
J: So rare
R: So rare
J: Like old camembert
R: Old camembert
R + J: Like ba, ba rum
J: Ba ba ba bum
R: Don't dig that kind of crooning, chum

R + J: Have you heard, it's in the stars
Next July we collide with Mars
Well did you evah
What a swell party
A swell party
A swellegant, elegant party this is

J: I drink to your health
R: Naah, let's drink to your wealth
J: You're my bon ami
R: Hey, that's French
J: Liberty
R + J: Fraternity

R + J: Have you heard, it's in the stars
Next July we collide with Mars
Well did you evah
What a swell party
A swell party
A swellegant, elegant party this is