If you were a wise man
Baby, you would drop
Every other ho, ho, ho and put me on top
Up there on your tree, better treat me like a star
Spend your cookie dough, dough, dough
Spend it on my heart

Fuck the jet
Send the sleigh
It's a packed holiday and I got options, babe

If you don't wanna buy me presents
Drink me like a warm glass of milk
If you're not gonna race here from the
North Pole to Beverly Hills
Just to keep my stocking filled
Well, I know somebody who will

Somebody who will (uh-huh)
Somebody who will
Somebody who will
Buy me presents, baby

He's a little bit older (like, super old)
Got a bit of a dad bod
From a city that's colder
But, damn it, he's so hot
He knows when I'm sleepin' (sleepin')
And he knows when I'm not
I haven't, like, seen him in a while
He's probably just busy at his workshop

Fuck the jet (fuck the jet)
Send the sleigh (send the sleigh)
It's a packed holiday and I got options, babe (no, ooh)

If you don't wanna buy me presents
Drink me like a warm glass of milk (oh)
If you're not gonna (not gonna) race here from the
North Pole to Beverly Hills (Beverly Hills)
Just to keep my stocking filled (so filled)
Well, I know somebody who will (somebody who will)

Somebody who will
Somebody who will
Somebody who will
Buy me presents, baby

If you don't wanna buy me presents
Drink me like a warm glass of milk (drink me like a warm glass of milk)
If you're not gonna race here from the (ooh)
North Pole to Beverly Hills
Just to keep my stocking filled (ooh, ooh)
Oh, I know somebody who will