Well, I'm a jitterbug boy, by the shoe-shine
Resting on my laurels and my hardys too
Life of Riley on a swing shift, gears follow my drift
Once upon a time I was in show-biz too
I seen the Brooklyn Dodgers playing at Ebbets Field
Seen the Kentucky Derby too
It's fast women, slow horses, unreliable sources,
And I'm holding up the lamp-post if you want to know
I've seen the Wabash Cannonball, buddy, I've done it all
'Cause I slept with the lions and Marilyn Monroe,
Had breakfast in the eye of a hurricane
Fought Rocky Marciano, played Minnesota Fats,
Burned hundred-dollar bills, I've eaten Mulligan stew
Got drunk with Louis Armstrong, what's that old song?
I taught Mickey Mantle everything that he knows
So you ask me what I'm doing here holding up the lamp-post,
Flipping this quarter, trying to make up my mind
And if it's heads I go to Tennessee, and tails I buy a drink,
If it lands on the edge I keep talking to you