Things don't look to good to me
I feel I'm out of luck
And all because of swollen glands
And just one stupid fuck
This wacko came from Alabama and
That's not where it's at
And now your jock's been chasing me round
With a great big baseball bat
Don't kick my ass
Don't kick my ass
Don't kick my ass with a baseball bat no

Well I was in the mood for some love in bulk
Not a wrestling match with a some big hulk
And this here dude he was an uncool cat
And he beat me bout' my head with a baseball bat
Don't kick my ass
Don't kick my ass
Don't kick my ass with a baseball bat no

When I got up from being beat to the ground
I started itchin' around like a blue-tick hound
And I was aghast at what I found
The latest social disease that's been going around
I'll kick your ass (I'll kick your ass)
I'll kick your ass (I'll kick your ass)
I'll kick your ass with a baseball, bat bitch