Said I wouldn't call ya
Said I wouldn't need ya
So I went and bought me some tequila amnesia
Said I wouldn't sweat ya
Swore that I'd forget ya
No fuckin' up my good time, I said I'd never let ya

No facetimin', no drunk dialin', no crawling back in my bed
No late night, no candelights, tryna get you outta that dress
No slow jam, no holding hands, man, all that shit is dead
Yeah, that's everything that I said

And that was five drinks ago, five drinks ago
When you were just somebody that I used to know
When I was thinking sober, we were good and over
Said I wouldn't think about you
That was five drinks ago, five drinks ago, yeah
They shoulda cut me off, they shoulda took my phone
'Cause I'm thinkin' 'bout textin' some alcohol confessions
And everything I said I wouldn't do
That was five drinks ago
That was five, that was five
That was five drinks ago
That was five, uh, yeah

Ran into your mama, told me I should call ya
Told her: Hey, don't bother, I'm done messin' with your daughter
'Cause I don't need no drama (yeah)
Period, no comma, yeah

No facetimin', no drunk dialin', no slidin' in yo' dms
No late night, no candelights, no sharing mutual friends
No slow jam, no holding hands, man, all that shit is dead
Yeah, that's everything that I said

And that was five drinks ago, five drinks ago
When you were just somebody that I used to know
When I was thinking sober, we were good and over
Said I wouldn't think about you
That was five drinks ago, five drinks ago, yeah
They shoulda cut me off, they shoulda took my phone
'Cause I'm thinkin' 'bout textin' some alcohol confessions
And everything I said I wouldn't do
That was five drinks ago
That was five, that was five
That was five drinks ago
That was five

I probably would've left that past alone, oh
If I would've kept my ass at home

And that was five drinks ago, five drinks ago
When you were just somebody that I used to know
When I was thinking sober, we were good and over
Said I wouldn't think about you
That was five drinks ago, five drinks ago, yeah
They shoulda cut me off, they shoulda took my phone
'Cause I'm thinkin' 'bout textin' some alcohol confessions
And everything I said I wouldn't do
That was five drinks ago
That was five, that was five
That was five drinks ago
That was five

No facetimin', no drunk dialin', no crawling back in my bed
No late nights, no candelights, tryna get you outta that dress
(Uh, everybody in here, next round on me)
No slow jam, no holding hands, man, all that shit is dead
Yeah, that's everything that I said
Fuck it, somebody call me a uber