Mr. Samberg, thanks for coming to your performance review
(No problem) So you're in charge around here
Is that fair to say? (Absolutely, I'm the boss)
Okay! So take us through a day in the life of the boss
Well the first thing I do is

Talk to corporate (like a boss)
Approve memos (like a boss)
Lead a workshop (like a boss)
Remember birthdays (like a boss)
Direct workflow (like a boss)

My own bathroom (like a boss)
Micromanage (like a boss)
Promote synergy (like a boss)
Hit on Debra (like a boss)

Get rejected (like a boss)
Swallow sadness (like a boss)
Send some faxes (like a boss)
Call a sex line (like a boss)

Cry deeply (like a boss)
Demand a refund (like a boss)
Eat a bagel (like a boss)
Harrassment lawsuit (like a boss)

No promotion (like a boss)
Fifth of vodka (like a boss)
Shit on Debra's desk (like a boss)
Buy a gun (like a boss)

In my mouth (like a boss)
Oh fuck man I can't fucking do it, shit!
Pussy out (like a boss)

Puke on Debra's desk (like a boss)
Jump out the window (like a boss)
Suck a dude's dick (like a boss)
Score some coke (like a boss)

Crash my car (like a boss)
Suck my own dick (like a boss)
Eat some chicken strips (like a boss)
Chop my balls off (like a boss)

Black out in the sewer (like a boss)
Meet a giant fish (like a boss)
Fuck its brains out (like a boss)
Turn into a jet (like a boss)

Bomb the Russians (like a boss)
Crash into the sun (like a boss)
Now I'm dead (like a boss)

So that's an average day for you then? (no doubt)
You chop your balls off and die? (hell yeah)
And I think at uhh one point there
You said something about sucking your own dick (nope)
Actually I'm pretty sure you did (nah that ain't me)
Okay, well this has been eye opening for me (I'm the boss)
Yeah no I got that, you said it about 400 times (I'm the boss)
Yeah yeah I got it! (I'm the boss)
Ok, great! I heard you, see ya later