Imagine in your mind a posh country club
The stuffy old money, where the poor get snubbed
The spread is bland: Sauerkraut and boiled goose
There's no way these people will ever cut loose
But then I walk in the room, hold my boom box high
And what happened next will blow your mind

Everything got out of control
The music was so entrancing
Everyone got out on the floor
It was a bunch of old, white people dancing

Now picture, if you will, a bunch of businessmen
Stuffed in the boardroom like pigs in a pen
The ties around their necks are like a hangman's noose
In the middle of the table, there's a boiled goose
The old people smell makes you wanna puke in the sink
These dudes'll never dance, yeah, that's what you think
I stride in the room, all young and hip
Hold up my boom box, and say: Listen to this

Then everyone started to move
People rejoiced, instead of financing
Their preconceived notions were shattered
By the super-old white people dancing

The Big Apple, where people never dance
Spirits go down while profits expand
The cops saw the dealers, who's got the juice?
The street vendors peddling their boiled goose
So many types of people, they'll never get along
Till I bust out my boom box and play this song

The music washed away all their hate
And society started advancing
Every demographic was represented
It was a Rainbow Coalition of dancing

Everyone was wearing fingerless gloves
I saw a Spanish guy doing the Bartman

Transport now to an old folks' home
Where the elderly are tossed on their brittle bones
The orderlies are stealing, there's no excuse
Every day for lunch, they eat boiled goose
So I grab my boom box and hit the turbo bass
And what happened next was a total disgrace

Everybody started having sex
The music was way too powerful
A bunch of old people fucking like rabbits
It was disgusting, to say the least

A boom box can change the world
But you gotta know your limits with a boom box
And this was a cautionary tale
A boom box is not a toy